Time can change your perception and view of life.

Looking back at my other posts can sometimes make me wonder who wrote them.

Today is a day of bombs.

I found out that my boss is leaving.

I found out that my colleague wants to hook me up with a guy from another school. She took the step to even check out if his character was good (based on feedback from various fellow colleagues at that school) and his interests match my interests. She wanted us to meet this weekend but I am completely booked. I don't know what to think he looks nice from the photos...

I found out he yes he the guy I have kept inside my heart for freaking 5 years (perhaps more) kind of stopped counting the years. He is attached I saw a photo of him and the girlfriend. It makes me feel pretty much numb. I wish him well.

It was a foolish kind of feeling I had for him anyway. Don't know why I even kept thinking about him everyday for the past five years. Don't know why I never gave others a chance because all I could see was him. His face, his smile and his eyes.

I must be crazy. The picture of him and the girlfriend should cut me like a knife but luckily I have trained myself to accept that day when it happens. I accepted it today pretty well.

I will let time take control, let God decide lead my way and see what magic unfolds.

This melody is just so beautiful I love it.

Seriously I have been thinking about leaving city life and just living in a farm with cows, sheep and goats and a gorgeous farmer and rear animals and children watch them grow up leave, get married and basically complete the circle of life.

That is bliss to me.

There is absolutely no way I can do it here so my other option is to obviously go some other place and find said gorgeous farmer and marry him and live there forever.

What is wrong with city life? What is wrong with climbing corporate ladders or watching others get ahead of you and feel worthless? Dog eat dog life appealing for you? Feed obsession of big brands and big bucks and high rolling life slogging it out to attain that goal all your life?

No thank you give me my farm any time. Yes, there will be moments when I enjoy watching movies, shopping and hanging out at starbucks all very city girl things but it would all be possible in this farm I have in mind location is very important to me. I can track down the location and find an occupation than stay in a nice proper rental before purchasing own property.

Even if the gorgeous farmer never materializes I don't care I can still live my life out in the country when I get bored I can just drive out and enjoy some urban excitement.

What about friends and family?

I don't have any siblings and my father is up in heaven. There is only my mom who I will provide for and take care of as long as there is breath in my lungs. My plan to go country would only come into fruition when I am perhaps in my 30s or 40s realistically speaking provided I am not married by than.

If I am already married by than obviously moving and shifting so dramatically would not be so highly possible. But I am a woman who gets ideas quite suddenly and sometimes scarily to go country can still be possible even if I am married we could find some place in Malaysia perhaps and make it like a vacation getaway. That would be my piece of heaven right there.

I think I sense a theme here family and country life.

Haha it is possible you know I have a habit of making my wishes come into reality.

OMG it has been almost a year since I updated this space so sad anyway after tweaking the webpage a little bit glad my html skills have not completely gone rusty hehe.

I am back.

Actually I have never really left blogging I was just busy with my sister blog:


So yupz if who ever still reads this blog ever gets starved of updates you can always go check the other blog where I blog about more light hearted stuff.

Here is where I brood.

Some HK pix just to put some life back inside this blog. Enjoy :)






















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Labels: daily updates

I want to date someone who will take care of me and not just the other way around. I do not want someone who just wants to impress based on looks alone. Such insubstantial basis for admiration I am not a fool to fall for blind praise. I want stimulating coversation. It is not too much to ask for? I find guys that I can admire based on their merits be it interpersonal skills or thoughtfullness for others, strength of character and ability to be humorous. All these traits are far more appealing than just plain flattery and appearances. I know what I want and I shall get it.

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Grace
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loves
I Love
smell of rain, fur,bright colors, sound of thunder, laughter, smiles, vintage things, sleeping in, lacy lingerie, brilliant stones, mountains, analysing emotions, music(all kinds from Hurt - nine inch nails to Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton), good food, muscles on men and dimples

Hates
I Hate
bad smells, oily puddles, rotting corpses, haze, people who are difficult to please, colors or combination of colors that are boring, broken things, forbidden thoughts, ugliness in society (like war, self starvation), people that are as interesting as cardboard, noise, feeling tired all the time...

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